Seguindo Todos Os Protocolos (Portuguese) [Follow The Protocol]

It has been some time since I watched a movie set during the Pandemic, but this production immediately transported me back to that bizarre era that feels like a lifetime ago. By writing the script and starring as the lead character Chico, the Brazilian filmmaker successfully recreates that specific headspace of isolation, Zoom calls, and the social distancing that eventually became a new normal. However, the film is dull. While the director’s intended message might have worked well as a short film, the actual experience involves stretching everything into long scenes where almost nothing happens.

Living through lockdown alone, Chico is a bear who treats covid protocols like sacred law, spending his time watering plants and following workout videos. This rigidity has caused his friends to label him the protocol police, a reputation that has slowly pushed them all away. During a Zoom call, he receives even more bad news when his long-distance boyfriend ends their relationship, claiming he is no longer bisexual and has been sleeping with women throughout the pandemic. Despite his lonely routines, Chico remains horny, and watching porn is no longer enough to satisfy him. He reaches out to an old flame to arrange a hookup in perhaps the least seductive manner possible, asking the guy if he would like to have sex while following all the protocols. When the guy arrives, a charged scene of sexual simulation unfolds behind plastic curtains, eventually leading to them being fully naked and having sex with their masks still on. However, the moment the guy pulls his mask off, Chico panics and tells him to leave. He eventually connects with another guy whom he feels slightly more at ease with, but that connection fizzles out as well. The film concludes with what I can only describe as a bizarre dreamlike sequence in which Chico imagines what it all would have felt like if he had just let go of the fear.

This short film possessed every element required to be a funny and affecting exploration of the palpable tension many experienced during the pandemic: the desire for human connection pitted against the terror of the cost of obtaining it. Unfortunately, the pacing drags. Because the film stretches too thin, it kills the impact it was attempting to build, and it has already worn out its welcome by the time the story actually gets interesting. Even the inclusion of explicit scenes—two very attractive men having actual sex—is unable to rescue the experience from feeling like a slog. For those who took real risks during those years and understand that specific conflict, the impact could have been much stronger. While the director’s acting is fine, and it is evident he was working with very limited resources during an incredibly difficult time to be making anything, the final result feels more like a personal indulgence than a film crafted with an audience in mind. It is not unwatchable, but it is absolutely not worth the runtime it asks of you. (2.5/10)