For They Know Not What They Do (Documentary)

At its core, this documentary is about the American religious right’s aggressive opposition to the LGBTQ community and the harm that causes families caught between their faith and the love they feel for their own children. The film takes a gentle, patient approach, clearly hoping to convince people with conservative religious beliefs that there is no reason to be fighting the LGBTQ community. It keeps its attention on parents: how they responded when their children came out, what the families endured, and how they eventually reached a point where they could offer support.
The film begins with the Supreme Court’s legalization of gay marriage and the backlash that followed across much of the country, though that is not really its central concern. Its real focus is four families. The first is an evangelical family in Washington state whose entire world is shaken when one of their sons comes out as gay. The parents speak very openly about putting him through conversion therapy, and about how badly he struggled internally, eventually developing serious drug problems and dying. Two more stories involve transgender children, one boy and one girl, and both are especially compelling because prejudice against trans people is so much more intense considering how small that community is. You can also see that things are gradually changing, since one of the people featured is Sarah McBride, who became the first trans person ever to speak at a national political convention when she addressed the 2016 Democratic convention. The fourth story follows a gay Puerto Rican immigrant whose grandmother rejected him, though his parents accepted him completely. He was also at Pulse nightclub in Orlando on the night of the shooting. He survived by hiding in a bathroom, but lost close friends that night and still blames himself for having brought them there.
What connects all of these families is the painful effort to reconcile what their church taught them about LGBTQ people with the love they have for their children. One line from Bishop Gene Robinson really lingers: he says that when people invoke religious liberty or religious freedom, what they are really seeking is a license to discriminate. The children, all adults now, tell their coming-out stories, and they all appear genuinely at peace with who they are. Religious leaders in the film also present their own interpretations of scripture that challenge the notion that God sees same sex relationships as sinful. The documentary is thoughtful and well edited, but it never quite makes a strong enough theological argument for why LGBTQ people are children of God just like everyone else, and that feels like a missed opportunity. Still, it is clear that the filmmaker is more interested in reaching people who do not already agree than in making a film for those who do.
Gentle, warm, and well meaning, even if it does not go as deep as it could have. (6.5/10)