This movie, part of a trilogy (one I’ve already reviewed on my blog), delves into the complexities of modern relationships, especially in the age of dating apps. It focuses on two colleagues who approach sex and romance in vastly different ways. The film is raw, honest, and unflinchingly open, with a lot of dialogue that explores how contemporary love is shaped. While some may find it slow or even tedious, it’s clear that the filmmaker is making a deliberate statement, almost as if he’s writing a love letter to Oslo, just like he did in his previous work, Sex. Though it’s not explicitly a “gay-themed” film, one of the characters is gay, and through his perspective, we get a fresh, candid look at sex, love, and relationships from a gay man’s point of view.
The movie opens with Marianne, a urologist, delivering difficult news to a patient about prostate cancer. After the consultation, her colleague Tor (a male nurse) notices that the patient may not have fully grasped the gravity of the situation. So, he goes out of his way to make sure the man receives the clarification he needs. This subtle exchange immediately tells us that Marianne, while an expert on men’s biology, doesn’t fully understand their emotional complexities. On the other hand, Tor, being a gay man, feels he has a better handle on these nuances.
Later, they cross paths again on a ferry—Marianne heading to a party to meet a guy her friend thinks she might click with, and Tor explaining how he uses Grindr to find casual lovers. He shares that he often ends up having encounters on the ferry, meeting men from all walks of life, from those casually cruising to others looking for something more meaningful. Tor’s open embrace of casual sex makes an impression on Marianne, who, a little curious, ends up having a fleeting encounter with a stranger on the ferry. Physically, it’s enjoyable for her, but emotionally… not so much. Meanwhile, Tor has a chance meeting with Bjorn, an older man who’s somewhat out of touch with the modern gay scene. As their paths cross more frequently, an unexpected bond forms between them. This relationship, which starts out without any romantic expectations, reveals a softer side of Tor, highlighting the domestic and compassionate qualities that make him such a good nurse.
What’s truly fascinating about this film is its exploration of not just love and casual sex, but also friendship and how these relationships evolve. Marianne and Tor, though completely different in their views and experiences, both challenge each other’s assumptions about love, sex, and connection. It’s a deep dive into their preconceived notions and how these evolve over time. As much as the film showcases the casualness of sex, it also places immense value on real, human connections—ones that might not fit the traditional mold of romance.
There’s a scene towards the end that really struck me—when Tor is helping Bjorn at his home and Bjorn shares a heartfelt monologue about his sexual experiences during the ’80s. The discussion between these two men from different generations, especially about AIDS and the cultural shifts within the gay community, feels deeply poignant. It’s a powerful moment that highlights how experiences can shape our understanding of love and relationships in ways that are often overlooked.
By the end of the film, both Marianne and Tor find themselves in new, unexpected places. Marianne has embraced the casual hook-up culture, while Tor has rediscovered his capacity for emotional intimacy, stepping into the role of Bjorn’s caretaker. Both have come to appreciate relationships that don’t fit into the traditional “romantic” box. There are no villains, no major plot twists, and certainly no action-packed scenes—and honestly, the film doesn’t need them. It’s a slice of life, a quiet reflection on love and relationships, but one that rewards patience and reflection.
I guess what I love most about this film is its mature, compassionate approach to relationships. It paints a picture of love that’s not defined by rules or societal expectations. It’s about understanding, evolving, and, at times, making peace with what feels right—even if it doesn’t fit neatly into the conventional idea of what a relationship should look like. It’s refreshing and, in its own quiet way, revolutionary.
