Lockdown, old wounds, and self-discovery in Sans dessus dessous (F.L.Y.)

Rafael Albarran and Trent Kendrick place an unsettled former relationship at the center of Sans dessus dessous (F.L.Y.). The independent feature has a personal quality: Albarran and Kendrick wrote and directed it, and play its two leads. What begins as an unexpected reunion develops into a story about the pressure of other people’s expectations and the possibility of becoming more fully oneself.

A reunion that outlasts its welcome

The film finds Max (Trent Kendrick) in Los Angeles, where he is dating his coach, Hunter (Alexeev Dismuke), working occasional jobs, and spending much of his time at the gym. When we first encounter him, he is tending the villa and dog of a wealthy older gay couple while they are away on vacation.

Then Rafael (Rafael Albarran), his ex, turns up. They have not seen each other for a long time. Rafael has come to town hoping to make a career as a drag star, and Max agrees to let him stay for a while. Their arrangement was meant to be brief, but the story opens just as the COVID pandemic begins, and the two end up sharing lockdown.

The separation had not settled what divided them. Rafael was growing more comfortable with his queerness and femininity; Max, shaped by homophobic and macho traumas, was uneasy with that direction. Months confined together bring back the pain of their breakup, but also give them time to reconnect. The isolation carries both the uncertainty and loneliness of the pandemic and the rare freedom of an unhurried stretch together.

The image each man lives inside

Rafael has fought to accept himself. He wears makeup with pride and hopes to earn his living as a drag performer. Max presents a more polished, traditionally masculine image, but that surface conceals a tangled relationship with his homosexuality. Less at ease than he wants others to believe, he craves love and remains preoccupied with how he is seen, held fast by the ideal of a masculine, “heteronormative gay man.”

Their opposing ways of inhabiting identity do not cancel out their love for one another. Instead, Rafael unsettles Max’s assumptions and pushes him toward honest reflection. The contrast between them gives the film one of its most affecting and convincing strands: affection persists across the barriers their differences have created.

More than a feel-good romance

There is warmth and humor in the film, and its invitation to let go and reinvent oneself can leave viewers moved and lighter. It may look like a gay romantic comedy, or a light-hearted story, but that impression does not capture its full reach. The months together prompt the men to reckon with their lives, their pasts, their identities, their relationships with others, and how fleeting existence can be.

Distance, family, and everyday connection

The film also recalls the peculiar conditions of lockdown, when loved ones could be reached only virtually. Family and friendships matter alongside the relationship between Max and Rafael; Max’s grandmother, in particular, has a pivotal role. Through close attention to matters that may seem ordinary or minor, Sans dessus dessous becomes far more moving and charming than expected. Its tenderness and perceptiveness make this sensitive account of human relationships resonate beyond its queer-romance frame.

Produced in 2023. Available on DVD, VOD, and on the LGBT film platform.

Other films about queerness and masculinity

• Wild Rodeo
• Solo
• The Agitators